Impostor Syndrome and the ambitious mom


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This month has been one of success from all the hard work from the previous 4 years since I started my social/tech entrepreneurship journey and I suddenly find myself asking why is all this happening NOW? And when I find myself not being able to answers the question that’s when I let the voice of doubt and feelings of impostor syndrome slowly seep in.

And It’s actually something so many of us deal with, especially entrepreneurs or working parents we find ourselves letting that voice of doubt sometimes speaks loudly, telling us we didn’t deserve the glory, we are frauds, or simply why us?

But before I go digging further what exactly does Impostor Syndrome exactly means here is the definition…

“Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.”

Source impostor syndrome — Wikipedia

To be honest there are days I often forget where I am and still feel like that homeless teenager at heart, lost, vulnerable and sometimes trying to play this grownup version of myself that the world sees as an ambitious young entrepreneur who actually knows what she’s doing.

Even though today I am a soon to be a 26-year-old, who has managed with the power of God accomplished so many things beyond my expectation and I won’t say that it was easy even more since I become a mom and had to work out that famous work/life balance, It’s so easy to sometimes feel like I’m neglecting my son on my pursuit of our happiness so when I do get praised for my work, somewhere deep inside I still find myself constantly feeling like an impostor

Welcome to the internal struggles of a working parent with impostor syndrome.

Dealing with impostor syndrome doesn’t make you weak

Between dealing with our work obligations and being there for our kids, partner, family or even friends, running our household, finding time for ourselves we find ourselves being more than ever stretched too thin and to add to that when you throw in the very unrealistic perfection set by social media today, i am actually not surprised that we find ourselves suffering from Impostor Syndrome .

I remember reading a published a research paper which had Initially theorized that women were uniquely affected by this and it was letter discovered that actually both men and women experience this feeling and that it can affect anybody who isn’t able to come to terms their own achievements but that doesn’t make you weak or ungrateful.

Here are some tips I have found on how to combat my impostor syndrome.

In life, we will always find ourselves having doubts about ourselves, choices, our abilities, and our qualities. But that doesn’t mean that we have to let our doubts hold us back and prevent us from reaching your destination.

1. First I Realized Nobody Is Perfect But I am Enough

Nobody is perfect, and everyone is enough and unique. Are you trying to be someone you’re not is that really the way you want to waste your life? We feel pressured to be what society wants us to be to the point that we want to live a fantasy perfection

2. Mind Over Matter

Our mindset can do great wonders or cause the worst damages. This is the most tricky part because sometimes, life puts us in such situations is really hard not to think that life sucks, and I’m sure yours does sometimes, too. But it can easily become spiral that can lead to us even when we accomplish something good we can’t even recognize it.

3. It’s Okay To Open Up To Someone

For many us especially for me I have always struggled about speaking these types of subject, I usually feel more comfortable talking about a problem that I have already tackled and found a solution, and it took me a very long time break this vicious cycle, it took so many people coming up to me and asking about it, that I realized the importance of being honest about either our entrepreneurship, motherhood, fatherhood struggles so that others would you know that there are not alone.

4. Own and Appreciate yourself!

Have you ever found yourself receiving a compliment from someone and being unable to accept it, sometimes it’s hard to accept or even see the good about yourself but the thing is someone else saw it and decided to give you that compliment and by accepting it are you permitting yourself to own your greatness and what’s that wrong with that?

5. Mistakes are okay if you learn from them!

Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes are a part of life and from my experience are one of the greatest life lessons we can ever learn from. Nobody will live through their life without making any mistakes.

But the thing about mistakes, it doesn’t mean that you are not good enough. It merely means that you human and it’s proof of your efforts in becoming whom you want to be. With the realization that mistakes are inevitable, you have to understand that it doesn’t make you a failure or an impostor.

6. You are not alone!

Maya Angelou once said, “I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”

Just remember whenever you have thoughts like you somehow got the job but don’t deserve, or you feel super uncomfortable when someone praises or encourages you, and when you think a fear of being “ found out or exposed”, you are not alone. Almost 70% of people report experiencing Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career and personal lives. It’s so widely spread but not openly spoken about.

Many of us struggle with impostor syndrome to some degree, and it can be difficult to overcome those feelings of self-doubt. But, the important thing to remember is that even though it might feel like it, you’re not the only one, many people around you are going through it too.

And something that helps me, is by remembering that I have accomplished a lot to this day, while I may not see myself as an expert in every aspect in my life, all I need to do is believe in my skills and vision that I have for myself and believe that I am worthy and worked hard to be where I am today!

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